a new day

like the millions of children who yearn for and dream about christmas, I have anticipated this day with wonder and excitement...

Today we closed kismet at our usual time, but with unusual joy..it was busy today, and again we were short staffed, but instead of the monotonous chores of dishes, vacuming, and prep-work, alanna, the dishwasher, and I emptied out the fridges, made 9 (very large) doggy-bags, and turned off the fridges... With the sign on the door, and the till in my case, we closed up shop for the next 29 days (thank-you leap year)..

Even though we already celebrated our first year (only a month ago), and new year's has come and gone, I feel like it's only now that i am perched on the eve of a new year- and instead of one blissful anxiety-ridden night, I get 29 days and nights full of opportunity to manifest my visions for the next year...

what do i see?
first off--organization.. no more running through the streets trying to be 2 places at once..

i'm going to rest more and not feel guilty about it..

accept my success and live in it, rather than feel like i'm starving while stuffing my face with the occasional feast..

work hard and take care of business, while also making more time to travel to see my family, make art, and nourish myself with joyful time with my friends and children..

be prosperious, by settling old debts (owed and owed to me), letting go of the tug-of war rope that pulls but does not give..

you see; i've made this very ambitious to-do list (i'm even thinking of schedualing the whole month so I wont leave anything out), and for the last month, i have been using it as my mantra so that i can stay focussed and get all of this done- I can only imagine what that sounds like- i mean, i work really hard; then I have a month off and I'm going to plan all sorts of deep deep work so that i wont feel guilty if I just lay in bed and read all month?!! but honestly-- looking ahead a little bit, i would have reason to feel guilty-- this last year has been so incredibley intense that many parts of MY LIFE (outside of kismet) have been on hold.. I am thankful for the restaurant and the daily miracles that happen there (almost like splitting loaves for the many), and I owe my current clarity to the constant work that i do there, but it also takes up so much of my time-and will again as soon as we re-open.. so, for the next 29 days....it's all about me......

SO.................

here comes february-the coldest month-the least predictible month-

the month of mardigras and murder -the month of love and dissapointment

&

the first month in 2 years that is entirely mine...