wow-- the wind reminds me of the sea- i want to travel, i want for things to change, and be like how i thought they would be .. i know where the keys are, i know the flavors of spring, i remember my youth, and yet.. ultimately, I am HERE feeding roasted chicken to my children (me--- a mom?) AGAIN as we all yearn and wish and wait for it to come..
so much change in my life though, outside of what you might see looking in my window- so much that it is terrifying.. I am overwhelmed and still here, waiting for something within me to evolve. I keep reading and keep watching, and keep seeing myself re-act.. i am a slave to my ego-- it's crazy. i'm a slave to my children-- and i am an only part-way conscious being... i want more
more
more time to see raina- and teo
more time to make love and bask in this love that i have finally created
more money
money for mexico
money for ideas
money to get three or four pairs of shoes for my children
money to change the world for someone who has no money-
and i want joy..............
joy like the knowing (without doubt)
joy like the being (without fear)
joy like the making (without attachment).
i want the joy around me like the sun in the morning on my face-- though i squint and duck-
joy like today on the sidewalk on elm st.-- like it is in the summer.
i want more.
but i have this.
my love
my want
my fear
my hope
my perspective.
i have roast chicken leftovers in the fridge downstairs (soup tomorrow)
i have books to read (one day)
i have work to do.
i have me.
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ROAST CHICKEN FOR MARCH 11 (but feels like February 2)
- finish work at 3:30
- grab whole free range chicken ($12.00) from fridge and rinse clean
- prepare chicken in the roasting pan (drizzle with oil, lemon juice, left-over home-made enchilada sauce or what-ever, dust evenly with salt and pepper)
- dice 3 large local potatoes and throw in the pan around the chicken (drizzle with oil)
- put in oven (uncovered) on 280 degrees and leave
- drive to therapy (watch as it unfolds)
- drive to pick up youngest child (watch at it unfolds!)
- make errands
- get home, help eldest with homework
- 6:00-- turn chicken up to 350 degrees for 15 minutes to crisp skin
- turn off oven- listen to children fight, but guide them gently towards the bathroom to wash their hands for dinner
- 6:20 carve chicken (youngest likes the leg--adults get the breast in our house)
- let cool on plate 10 min. while making sure hands are clean
- drizzle meat and potatoes with pan sauce
- add steamed cualiflowers and kale to plates (or something green)
thats it....
