Thursday, October 22, 2009

she's gone

it's been dark, cold and rainy for more than a week- but today the sun came out, it was almost 60 and it felt like spring- and then, as if she was waiting for a break in the clouds, she slipped out of the cells of her own body and floated away..
safe travels raina star..
i love you

Monday, October 19, 2009

transition

moving into winter--reluctantly- hesitantly- but resolved.

days spent thinking of Raina- in her hospital bed in h er room at home- her mother there tending to her as her new born.. her family and friends all busy being there-- and then me trying to be helpful and present, gathering memories for teo and mike and for them all. I am riddled with grief- and anxiety- nervous that i may make things worse- worried that i could do something MORE but am oblivious to what it is.
my friend is dying- and though she could look at me and look like she has important things to tell me, i am still unsure about what she wants.. and it is winter i feel coming- silence- peace of snow on branches- but we are actually still here in transition.
dont really know, have no idea..