Wednesday, July 7, 2010

just more

watching myself aging now.. my energy is less scattered- i feel more focused, but i look at myself and see i woman i am still longing to know..
being a girl was easy...

i stretch my shoulders back and my chest pops open... my heart is growing..
i take a shower and put all of my things in my bag- and look at my babies= children now... we touch on adolescence- everyday it get's closer... and at the same time, my own gets further away...
hot hot hot sun lately.
all day and keeps getting hotter.. i love it, but am so aware of time speeding up... how does 4 months go by so quickly, and yet, feel like a year or more? i keep trying to make more time for myself, and have been able too, but at the same (exact same) moment, i am conflicted because i feel like i am abandoning something else i have to do..

saw a video of myself and moses... HOLY #$*)*&# !! we are growing up! i looked like a woman, and he like a pre-pubescent boy.... my baby is 11! and i am now 33.... & i am lost for the words to describe how amazing and abstract all of that is..

swim today.
with sadie
and the boys
and jay
and friends...
watching myself be seen as i gently navigate through these days...
SO GOOD to have witness..