chewing chorizo

i enjoy a day that has at least one moment for simple food with clear flavors. hot gingery miso with wilted spinach, super rare thin sliced steak, brown rice, and a pinch of cayenne. Besides that chorizo i chewed on in the car on my way to get moses, it's all i had yesterday.. but it was all i needed- i went to bed thinking of that soup- and today too. went to bed thinking about alot of things actually-
like how big this time feels-about this new year coming- like this year that has passed.. i came into this year absolutely exhausted and was asleep on a concrete floor as friends around me counted down.. i feel like i have been dreaming all year, actually- trying so hard to manage everything while still realizing and trrying to meet my own needs.. there have been times this year when i thought i would go crazy with exhaustion- pushing myself to appreciate the littlest moments of joy that would suprise me and trying to flow through and work with the many moments that scared me. I am a single mother now.. i turned thirty this year..one of my best friends was diagnosed with brain cancer this year..i fell in love this year. i opened a business this year. i've worked nearly 3000 hours this year and served over 8000 meals.. i became an author this year...moved into my own apartment (my second ever..), and had $10,000 stolen this year.
wonder what this next year will have instore for me.. i want a home of my own- with a door on my bedroom- i want to be sourrounded by my success and celebrate the successess of my hard working and talented friends. i want music and good food, candles, and warmth. i want honesty and connection, peace and inspiration, and prosperity like good health and a full bank account. I want to work hard, and be met by others. I want time to slow down just a little bit so i can grab a moment to write more, see my friends more, and cook more, make love more, and travel to see my parents, sister, distant friends, and my grandmother more..