Grandma-
your last message came in mid july-
i have written a couple of times, but have heard nothing.. I hope that you are ok, and that your george is recovering.
My life is overwhelmingly busy and especially so at the moment- i am ending my partnership with my business partner, expanding the restaurant, and both boys have begun school (fela is in kindergarten!!). I am doing WAY too much for one person, but at this point, really see no other way, there is really no one else but me..
I hope to have a break in november, and am looking at tickets then (not to get your hopes up, as i know i have been trying to visit for a while), but it has been TOO long, and i am ready to just figure out a way.
I wish there were words for how much i miss you. I am missing you all of the time. all of the time. i love vermont, and i love you, i wish i could have both.

i want to know everything-- EVERYTHING
have you been writing? i know at one time charles cohn was encouraging you to write your memoirs-- and i too, have been waiting for your words and all of the details for some time.. what can you tell me?

it is cooling off here now- and fall is approaching, and winter on it's way. I am not ready, and honestly, if fela's dad wasnt so committed to being here, i would move somewhere else-- somewhere warmer--- thinking of mexico.. but i do feel kind of stuck and committed here for at least the next 9 years.. seems like such a long time, but looking at moses (and even my own reflection) i know that that will fly by. At the same time, as i get older, I am seeing that time is there kind of singing--
As i wrote previously, my very close friend raina has been suffering from brain cancer for the last two years, and (in my "spare time") i have been visiting her. It is overwhelming, and intense- as you know. Last night i went to visit her, and she was speechless. It was so hard and sad to see her this way, as i felt like there was so much she wanted to tell me, and so much i wanted to know, but couldnt ask--and all day i have been thinking about her. We are only a week apart in age, her son and my moses think of each other as brothers (you met MIKE- my boyfriend years ago- he and raina birthed teo together, and i was there with them through the pregnancy and birth and these years that have passed have kept us very close). Being with raina brings so much up for me- so often i feel so tender after being with her, and unable to communicate myself, as well.
But today, i had to try again to connect with you- because i feel you with me all of the time (and my dad, victor too), and lately, really, more than ever. maybe it's the time of year, maybe it's the years-- but i am longing, really deeply longing, to sit with you and see your smile..

with tears in my eyes, and 3000 miles between us-
i am sending you love like a river flowing from my heart to yours.

i need you in my life
crystal