i love you--but

it has been over a month since i spoke with my parents-

i live across the country from them and have been pretty self sufficient since i was 15.. but this silence bothers me.

i have given both my parents my blog address- nearly 2 years ago- thinking that if i wrote here, freely, it would give them (and everyone else who wanted to know) an opportunity to read and comment.. but there is still silence.



there may have been a time that silence was comforting- a bit of a relief, maybe- but with this year going as it has been, i feel a bit isolated and abandoned in this silence..



here we are..

each

alone

ofcourse we have no way of knowing how connected we really are unless we completely embody connection--

and do i?



still asking--- who is my dad?

who is my mom?

who is this guy who was my dad?

who am I?

what is this?

when will i know?

when is it too late?







my children are growing

i am their family-



i'm scared sometimes

because

i know

i'm just not enough---



dad..

mom..

where are you?