long long days these have been..
as if i have been standing in the same room for the last five months-- I know that there is a world going on- i get big mouthful tastes of it from time to time, but in here-- in here is where i live now..
i have taken a step. not sure exactly what direction it registers, but in my mind, on a compass it is exactly center..
i have not seen sunlight in months.
i barely see my children.
i dont remember when the last time i did laundry was.
talking on the phone now is always painful.
i am hardly EVER present.
yet.
i am happy,
i think.
so proud to watch and be part of little miracles. gastronomical chemistry, to be in love amidst it all.
to be adopted by it all.
to find the words to ask for what i want.
clearly.
i enter this new year with so many questions, so many memories, so much on my plate- but aware of myself more than ever.
not enough time EVER to address the things i want to address.
but hear me now-
i am thankful.
and hopeful
and working my ass off
to believe that
eventually,
it all comes back together.
xxoo
