poopy pants

dumped.
that's how i feel.
down in the dumps-
like i have been floating between reality and fantasy for some time- maybe my whole life- and the warm air current of expectation just pushed me along- till i got to the end of the tunnel- and landed on my ass.
now i am nestled only by reality- with fantasy dancing over my head- each time i reach for it to lift me up, a wild octopus bird jellyfish unicorn slaps my hand away.

from down here i can feel the huge void in my life- in my family- like a helium balloon in my belly pushing up on my diaphragm- i cant fill it- it is full already of grief and disappointment- all i can do is just wait for it to dissipate.